After two years of being a K/1st English teacher, I quit my job.
Like, cold turkey. I finished out the school year and never looked back. (I worked at a half school/half daycare, where I had to work 365 days a year. So when I quit for the summer, I officially had nothing to do with my days.)
I didn’t have a single job lined up. No one called me for interviews. I hadn’t acquired a teaching certificate (still don’t have one) so I couldn’t teach in the public school system. And I had no idea what was going to happen this summer.
I had a love/hate relationship with my job. So when God told me to quit, it was #amazingandawesome while at the same time being #scaryandhard.
God had been speaking to me for a few months, saying things like, “Hey, I know you wanna live more intentionally, so you wanna do what I want you to do?” And, “I know your plans, but I also know MY plans. I’ll give ya three guesses as to whose is better.”
So I took a deep breath, threw up my hands, and decided to semi-blindly follow Him. Finally I put action into all those words I had been using for so long.
Quitting my job has been the absolute best and the absolute hardest thing I’ve ever done. Without my second income, I’ve learned how stupidly we spend money (hello dollar section at Target). Without a routine to follow each and every day I learn how stupidly I spend my time (Sabrina anyone??). Without someone tangible telling me what to do every second of every day, I had no idea how to orient my own days.
I’ve learned that God can take care of it all. How we have enough money to pay bills, buy groceries, put gas in our cars, pay off the IRS, and still have enough money to buy extra food for all the Life Group people that show up at our house is beyond me. Not to mention all the gas I’ve used to visit with people who I’ve known for a year and haven’t ever had a conversation with. And the times I found “extra” groceries in my cabinets to make multiple meals for families and neighbors in our community that needed them.
But beyond these small financial miracles have also been the lessons of patience. I have to patiently wait for money in the budget to get a haircut. I have to patiently wait until the weekend when my husband gets to stay home with me and I actually have adult conversation. I have to patiently go through all my things in order to organize my house the way I want it. It took leaving my job to realize how important patience is.
I also learned that I am more than Employee, Wife, Daughter. I have a million facets to my personality that I’ve been reminded of each day I spend here at home, trying to decide how to spend my time and who to spend it with. It took leaving a job, going broke, and not getting pregnant to realize how much I depend on God and how much He desires a different life for me.
I don’t know what the future holds. Sure, there are good things a comin’, and I can’t wait for them (although I am waiting patiently) but most of my future right now is black. Most of my days I don’t know what’s happening after lunch, much less what I’m cooking for dinner or what job I’ll have in this next life. A lot of time my days are spent reflecting on the here and now, not worrying about the future. And it took leaving my job to realize that the here and now is more important than the whats-to-come.
I’ll leave the worrying up to God while I sit back on my couch, cuddle with my dog, and soak in the changing seasons, the good foods, and what Jesus is doing now.