First off, can I just say that this whole adoption journey has been nothing short of amazing? I think it’s so very cool this whole process. We feel so humble and grateful that God has chosen us to play a part of His story in this way. As cheesy as it sounds, I am so glad I get to witness the miracle of life. I thought that missing a baby belly meant I wouldn’t get to participate in new life, but I’m finding that that’s just not true.
Our home study was Friday afternoon. I was first, so I met with the adoption worker for an interview and then we walked our house. I cannot even begin to tell you how nervous I was. I needed the house to be clean, but not too clean (what does that even mean???). I spent most of the late morning cleaning. Then strategically putting things in places so it looks like we’re not too clean (cause, we’re not). And then that looked stupid, so I cleaned it up. And then I ended up making a mess when I cooked my lunch right before the social worker came, so I guess it all evened out.
clean but not too clean, right? (don’t worry, i cleaned up more than this.)
My biggest fear in life is of the unknown. So when I don’t know what’s going to happen or what to expect I get extremely nervous. Like, sweaty palms, rambling words nervous. So. No telling how motherhood will make me.
The home study has probably been the most dreaded thing of all. Just because we didn’t know when it’d happen, what to expect, what questions would be asked, and basically the minute this is over means we can actually adopt. It’s the last major roadblock standing in our way of us and future kid(s).
But it’s over! It went so great! She (maybe) loved me! And it looks like we’ll be licensed earlier than we thought! We’re going to be parents!
That’s the other thing that’s different about adoption. We woke up thinking we had a five month countdown, and now it looks like it’s two.
I’ve got so much to do. That I can’t really do until I actually get a kid. So I’ll sit here and internet window shop and pinterest dream.