I have no idea how to begin, so let’s just dive in, shall we.
I’ve been a blogger for about 10 years. If you count MySpace. If you don’t, then I’ve been a blogger for 6 years. Mostly here, and some here, and some other embarrassing ones that were deleted or purposely not linked to.
But before that, I was a writer.
I wrote my first “chapter book” when I was 8 years old. It was about a girl named April who had to move and how she felt about it. In the next book, it was about a girl named Carol who’s parents dies. I wrote my first mystery short story when I was 10, and I printed it out and gave it to all my friends. Grades 6-9 were the journaling years, in which I blogged with a pen and paper. Grade 10 up until junior year of college were the poetry years. I don’t own a single note-taking spiral that doesn’t have at least 15-20 lyrics or poems written on it. I wrote my first, full-length novel in a month my Freshman year of college. I wrote my second my junior/senior year. I started my third around the same time and am halfway through. And after all that have come poems, memoirs, essays, and more.
Blogging was fun for me. I don’t have many hobbies, and that’s what blogging was. It was a way to get out the first 600 words or so before the good stuff hit. You writers know what I’m talking about. I’d blog through a thought, event, or idea, hit publish, and immediately start in on the next major thing.
I left blogging in 2011 because I worked too much. In fact, I left writing all together from 2011-2013. All my creativity was zapped after spending four years of college writing and creating and then spending two years creating an entire primary school program from scratch. You have no idea how much thought and creativity and energy and brainpower that goes into curriculum development, lesson planning, making crafts with students, coming up with hands-on lessons, etc. etc. etc. You teachers know what I’m talking about.
About a month after quitting, all my energy came back–along with my creative brain. And the poor husband watched as the entire house was ripped apart and put back together one DIY at a time. I got back into the zone. I realized I could do other creative things besides write. I started blogging again.
But somewhere in that time off, blogging because super popular. Bloggers became a thing. They got book deals. They got paid sponsorships. They got advertisers. They got featured in magazines. And because I never stopped reading the blogs, when I started this new one I actually went about doing it in a very serious, bloglike manner.
And, to be honest, I’m a terrible blogger. I hate it. I hate looking at my stats. I hate feeling guilty when I don’t have “enough” posts. I hate coming up with “content.” I hate feeling jealous when other bloggers–the ones who can’t grammatically string together two sentences, or have way too many pictures to words ratio, or who don’t blog about anything interesting, or don’t blog anything that’s not sponsored–when they’re making money for the stupidity they’re putting on, I hate feeling jealous of it. Because, probably, blogging is their hobby, too. And it just so happens they’re better at marketing or branding themselves than I am. And it just so happens that they started when things were picking up steam, and that’s when I left. And it just so happens that they are, in fact, better bloggers.
And after praying on this, and sitting on this, and talking endlessly to a very patient man about this (that would be my husband), I realized that I’m so stinking tired of blogging.
Caitlin Frost will never blog a day in her life again.
But what I will do is write.
So. This blog will no longer be a blog. It’s going back to a more writer’s format. There will be more stories. More short memoirs. More thoughts on writing. More #FridayReads. More of me to get out those first hundred words so that I can start writing other things in between.
Sure, there will be more “blog-like” stuff. I still have a really cool giveaway coming to you. I will still be blogging about our adoption. I have some tips to share. But all these posts will center around the story I’m telling, not the products or the photos. They’re going to be about what’s going on over here with the Frosts, me in particular, in how we live our lives and what we’re doing, and less about how stats and profits I could maybe but not likely make.
And from now on, I will no longer consider myself a blogger.
I will take back my other hat now, and consider myself a writer.