Motherhood is hard work.

I posted this photo and caption for #fridayintroductions with Naptime Diaries and The Tiny Twig on Instagram the other day.

Here’s my #fridayintroductions . I’m Caitlin and four weeks ago I became a mother to two girls, 4&2, through adoption. And it’s weird and stressful and straining and hard. So what do I need to grow in? Motherhood. Half the time I don’t know what I’m doing or how to do it, and I’m finding myself in a weird transition from the never ending “me time” to the constant screams of “mama!!” It’s a role I am so very humbled by and grateful to be a part of, and yet it’s a role that needs a lot more attention and work than I’m currently giving it. #thefrostsadopt.

And woah, was the response so overwhelming.

So hats off to all you strangers who felt the need to give me a pat on the back and some reassurance that I’m doing okay.  As a first time mother who doesn’t hear it that often, it sure felt good.

But here’s the main problem.  You all know I quite my job over a year ago, and being a substitute doesn’t lend itself to constant socializing like you’d think, so I’ve been quite alone for very long stretches of the day for over a year.  And now, I’m not.  Ever.  I pee with two other girls sitting on their own potties.  I take a shower with two little girls playing in the bathroom.  Even when the husband takes over bath or bedtime to give me a break, all I hear is “Mommy look!!” or “Caitlin come here!!”

Going from all day everyday to absolutely nothing has been really really hard.  I don’t struggle with wanting to be on the internet or phone or watching tv instead of wanting to be with my kids.  I genuinely want to be very present in their lives.  I struggle with wanting to be in my own head to process things.  But I can’t.

I’m struggling with finding time to do the things I like to do.  Like sewing projects or writing blogs or reading books–things that make me inspired to do more than just get through the day and things that keep me motivated through the menial tasks.

And because I’m all about the practicality in intentional living, I’m putting together this list of things that should (hopefully) help me, and if you’re a new mom or a seasoned mom, then hopefully it will help you, too.

  • These two posts are probably some of the more useful and practical posts on motherhood that I’ve read so far:  Pancakes and Perspective & The Three Things Concept
  • Annapolis & Company’s new series on “Steady Days” is inspiring me to look at motherhood more intentionally.  I even got up an hour earlier than I had to this morning (so I could finish this post I started on Saturday).  And I’ve already ordered the book.
  • I also joined When at Home‘s Thrive Intentionally Facebook group. Less so for accountability and more so to read about how other ladies are also struggling with their lives.  I’m glad to know I’m not alone!
  • I’m working on recreating my “work” space.  We had to rearrange the furniture to fit our children, so my beautiful vintage desk is out in the open and we keep piling a bunch of junk on it and never cleaning it.  So one of my goals this week is to clear it out and make it pretty and usable with inspiration from this board.
  • I’m also perusing an inspiring list of projects with the hopes to pick out a simple, easy one to complete in order to get me back in the swing of things.  I guess first I have to actually clean my house though.
  • I’ve been wanting to make pulled pork forever.  (I have no idea why.)  So today I’m making this recipe, calling it a project, and marking it off my list very satisfactorily.
  • And I’m forcing myself to write more blog posts.  Some will be good, some won’t, some will be short, some won’t.  I don’t care about quality right now, because I care about the practice of it.  Getting back into writing is very much like getting into a habit of creating, which is what I’m needing right now

So there.  I’m hoping to read, work, and start doing some practical, intentional things to get my life in “order,” to create some sort of routine or schedule, and to help all four of us live a little more intentionally, a little more fuller, and a little more happier.

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One thought on “Motherhood is hard work.

  1. I’ve been thinking through some of the very same things the last couple days (and weeks and months). It’s “easy” to watch my individuality slip away into all that motherhood entails when staying at home. Meaning, I usually prefer to just be “lazy” and make excuses for not doing anything with my life besides parent (which is actually a HUGE deal). But I’ve been thinking through setting small goals for myself and choosing small projects to accomplish or topics of study to dig into to keep myself “alive” and sharp. It seems as if the biggest challenge of motherhood is just figuring out how to still be yourself while molding other people. And it seems like you’re doing a fantastic job so far. 🙂

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